Songs From the Beautiful Rebellion

Warning: none of this makes any sense. It’s not supposed to. If you can’t stand the inanity and you really want to know what it’s all about… skip ahead.

March 17

“Dog Golly would be perfect right next to the, uhm, barnyard sounds CD.”

“I’ve had, uhm, fantasies of doing sort of, uhm, a local version of A Prairie Home Companion.”

“I’m sort of half serious about thinking about it.”

“It took me three days to write a whole sim. It takes other writers a whole week. I write pretty fast.”

“They raised the profile of the, uhm, y’know, award… cool. Well the hundred bucks they gave me came in, uh, you know, uhm, nicely. You know, you feel a certain, uh, you know, uh, justification.”

“Oh God, see, I know, well I got a, uhm… anything that’s technology, uhm…. ”

“I do some graphics, little funky projects, right.”

“Yeah uhm uh so you know uhhh…. ”

“Well it’s gonna start even, uh, I have my little flow chart, uhm, y’know.”

“Well, uh, I gotta get my kid, uh, to jazz class, he’s a little jazz cat, yeah, they’re pretty much few and far between, uhm, jazz flautists, they’re uhm too avant garde right now, he plays in like three jazz bands, he’s eleven, you should hear him, he’s got some chops already, uhm, his mom’s a rocker, y’know, so he has a tendency to turn his nose up at all my stuff, so, y’know, beautiful rebellion, so I force him to listen to my stuff in the car.”

“Uhm, yeah, yeah, occasionally I do, it’s still not easy, uhm, uhm, to help him yet, uh, different, different worlds, uhm, y’know, right, oh God, to compensate for, uhm, artistic sensibilities, y’know.”

“I still have problems with, you know, some kinds of rhythmic patterns, right, I played the bass, you know, grownups created this continuity, I made a conscious effort, you know, it does, yeah, but then again, it’s amazing the kinds of discoveries you can make to yourself, you know, I play the dulcimer like nobody else I know that plays the dulcimer, uhm, uh, dulcimer master.”

“I’m planning sort of a potpourri, maybe for the high-minded poetry days I would do some of the Dog Belly stuff.”

March 22

“I heard about a fruit that tasted wonderful, but smells like vomit, so of course I was intrigued.”

“I just can’t imagine listening to, right, an hour and a half of, uh, some schmuck, right, yeah, its appalling… I have a fear of Cliff Notes …like a Russian novel, with twelve surnames …fear of banality at that level… replace the banal Cliff Notes that don’t encompass Russian novels. Those ought to be hot sellers, because Russian novels are quite popular, at least in drum circles.”

March 24

“They want me to send as much of the Dog Belly stuff as I can… HAHAHAAAAA!”

“For the ‘zine, the criteria they want to use for selecting the stuff, well, you know, mnnmnmnn, the thing is, the attitudes get sort of repetitive, you can extend it to certain subject matter, you know, I find myself repeating phrases, and when it gets to that point, I have to, you know, go and create for someone else.”

“It becomes completely misinterpretive, yeah, but that’s okay, sometimes you know your audience and they’re laughing, but for the real wrong reasons, and for the scabrous attitude of the character, and so it’s bracing in some way, I wasn’t quite sure if they were digging it, uh, y’know, digging it in some way, but oh, yeah, no, they had a good time.”

“Oh he’s done all that, you know, but so to create sort of a female avatar.”

“Yeah, no, I thought about that, you know, female, doing , uhm, African American version, but see, I’m skirting all sorts of taboo stuff you know, I haven’t grown up and embodied that, you know, working class, but yeah if I transplanted, yeah, uhm, yeah, feel like I’d grown up, but then I’d have to create, uh, a complete, uhm, anonymous persona, what the hell, because they need to come off the page, you know, the Edmond of, you know, Dog Belly, but no, I really want to do the metal head version, you know, just listen to 18 months of Blue Oyster Cult and Metallica and Megadeath.”

“My brother is a video guy, looks just like, uhm, James Hetfield, you know, sings like him too, uhm, I have very fond memories of him playing as loud as he can, you know, out into this cove: whammy bar, feedback, you know, send him on his way. And, well, he’s kind of the Dog Belly in Dog Belly.”

[lots of mumbling about old, crappy cars in different accents]

“I’m kind of a sucker for those, you know, difficult, uhm, uh, modernists, kind of a Davey Jones, yeah but richer, yeah, uh, yeah, uhm.”

“I admire your ambition, your energy, madness, or something.”

“I’m gonna try it and see what I can come up with, uhm, uh, uh, uhhhhhh….”

April 7

“It’s a scream, yeah, uh, uhm, yeah. Oh man, with an audience, uh, hangers-on, uhm, a uh, groupie, uhm, uh, yeah.”

April 13

“Now it finally kicked into high gear, it farted around forever, then they did this video shoot, and now of course it comes back, you know, in two weeks, so all of it’s gotta be storyboarded. I mean a lot of it is stupid, like turning a Babylonian stone abacus into a course. It’s funny. I laugh at myself, because if you give me a little bit of daylight, I’m going for it.”

“They have this one thing using history books, they talk about Incans growing potatoes, so I turn it into computers, you know I try to give her her little opportunities to do her little ad lib shtick, you know. And I’m gonna put “from the dawn of time” or “aeons”, you know, so I’m kind of coaching her, y’know, “who’s there?”, “the big bang”, “Hubble telescope”, y’know.”

“Potatoes were cultivated by Incans for hundreds of years before Europeans, which is kind of a funny sentence, yeah, so anyway, yeah, she’s a flake, yeah, and if you err on the side of flakiness you’ll be, uhm, okay, uhm.”

“That’s lovely, yeah, I just did a business sim based on that, yeah, [a company] in the city area is interested in developing in a third world country, which I was convinced, by the time I got through with it, yeah, that this is the way to go, yeah, so, uhm, uh, right.”

“Yeah, that’s funny, that’s a good way to throw everything out of, you know, gear, yeah, to say something like “out of the lips of Hillary Clinton”, yeah, she’s kind of uppity.”

“All right, I guess I gotta go screw my perch to the sticking place.”

“She’s got this sort of unacknowledged CDM responsibility, which I find really a problem, without a raise and things, in which case, I really wouldn’t mind doing it myself, oh probably, yeah, even though I’m still an ID 1, but I probably shot myself in the foot a million times.”

April 14

“I have multiple copies of, uh, various, books that I have, uh, uhm, scribbled on in various stages of my life, yeah, ’cause I get sick of the same old stuff. I think Mitchell is, uh, uhm, sort of dry and uh not very expressive, uhh uhmm.”

“There’s a few letters that I think are really quite gorgeous, yeah, uhm, that I return to.”

“If I find that I’m consciously controlling the paint on canvas then they come out badly, yeah, I have to kind of control that, there’s an urge that I kind of have to fight, yeah, and then, you know, so it turns into a different kind of painting, from, you know, completely, from some other place. I have to surprise myself or it’s not interesting, yeah, and sometimes of course it’s difficult to surprise myself.”

“Yeah, I was working on that project, but I kind of got pushed off, yeah, I didn’t write that, at least I don’t remember writing it, yeah, tapping into the collective ID conscious, the archetypal bad, archetypal bad writing.”

April 20

“Yeah, uh, I usually uhm, prefer it when the spoon is, uh, standing up.”

“All right, well, uhm, another uh, another temptation to throw in front of me.”

April 21

“It was fun. Emotional intelligence? Yeah.”

“Uhm, uh, yeah, I just got, an, uhm, an, uh, email from one of the, the, uhm, uh, copy editors about, uh, the overheads for a course. Apparently there’s some discrepancy between uhm, what’s uhm there and what should be there, what’s new and what’s not new and that kind of stuff, uh, and she, uhm, told me that, uhm, you did those? Do you want to, do you have the time to try to look it over and see what the problem is? Uhm, uhm, yeah, OK, you know, uhm, I uhm, absolutely, in terms of tagging stuff, I’ve never even done it, uhm, uh, I know absolutely nothing, so I’ll be no help to you. HEH HAHAA! To, uhm, to put a tag for it in the course, can you, you, uhm, uh….”

“Well, you know, I’m uhm, I’m perfectly happy to eliminate any slide, that, uh, uhm, y’know, that uhm… right, that was something else and, uh, uhm….”

“Uhm, hmm, I’m hoping that the copy editor, uh, uhm, and uhh, noted this in the, the XML, uhm, right, and uhm, uhm, uhhh… y’know, where there’s not a tag, and where a tag should be, uhhhh, and, uh, then it would all make sense as to, to, uhm, uhh….”

“When it comes to inserting the tags, do you have to do that? Or is it just a, uhm, uh, placeholder for for, for the overheads?”

“Yeah, I think that’s what I need to do, yeah, rather than, uh, ….”

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, there’s a discrepancy between what’s appearing in the overhead version, right, as far as I know, it’s just a question of there being more overhead tags than, uh, uhhhm….”

April 28

“Hey, uh, I, I did find out, uh, something interesting today though, uh, yeah, and that being the origin of the verb, uh, ‘to ham it up,’ where it comes from? Uhm, they, minstrels put on black face, uh, uh, and it’s ham fat, and burned pork, so it’s directly related to minstrel shows. Heheh, yeah, yeah, thought it’s uhm, uhhh….”

“So I was reading uhm, actually [an employee]’s sister, who works in uh, uh, as a, uhm, no, she used to work at [an employer] and now she works at the Library of [a government bureau] and saw this book about the banjo in 1903, American culture, so it’s uhm, y’know it’s cool, yeah, about the transformation, uh, of the banjo, uh, from, southern black instrument, right, to, uh, parlor instrument, uh, so, y’know.

“Slow today, it’s uh, next week should be a busy time, uh, yeah, plus they haven’t given me all the stuff I need, so, so I’m just gonna be winging it one more time. So, oh God, yeah, I’ve never, no, yeah I’ve been all custom, so I’ve never even ventured into that Cisco world, although I did read, uh, the Siskel/Ebert glossary uh, uhm, y’know, heh, uh, complex routing stuff, I guess it’s all complex informational system stuff, this complex routing network information, yeah, as far as I know. Hahah, you’d have to talk to someone with more expertise than me, y’know, but I’ve heard it’s, uh, from the glossary itself, but yeah, uh, it’s uh, well then you get, uh, professional, proessional technology stuff, although there is some, uh, professional scholarly words, uh, uhm, which is, which is quite cool, uhm, uh, yeah, but so uhm, how that relates to the actual business technology stuff, I’m telling you, yeah, it’s uh, it’s all barnstorming, uh….

“‘Em-u-la-tion’… [incoherent mumbling]… oh it’s because, not because the other person hasn’t, [incoherent mumbling]… actually the construction of the course, haha! All right then.”

May 30

“…either abstract or completely narcissistic, not in an interesting way … I completely lost interest.”

“The secret to linguistics is the study and practice of literature.”

June 2

“It was almost like Looney Tunes, right, so, yeah, so luckily I knew to censor myself and not blurt things out, so y’know….”

“Not much this weekend, not really, no, I’m going to get on the water actually, a kayak, a flow to Lake Ontario that flows to little rivers, up to the, what is that? uh, that beach, uh, kind of just right north of Brockport, uhm, Hamlin? uh, like Sand, uh, Sand Creek, that flows right up close to where the park is, and I thought to myself, that would be kind of luxurious, to flow up by the park, and so, that is, that’s kind of my dream vision, no, yeah, the projects, uh, you know, they deteriorate, it always goes wrong, yeah, I don’t know how many times, you know it’s going bad when, when I break out my hack saw… sponge myself off in the Mobil station bathroom at like 3 in the morning, that to me just summarizes home repair.”

“… private parts… jump the shark… did these marvelous things where, there’s an urban legend where to things hit head-on and then fuse together, right, so then there’s this European sports car, so they actually reproduced, they smashed together two, uhm, two European sports cars to get the, uhm, the exact speed, y’know, so anyway, they investigated this story about, uh, a bullet in the fuse box, y’know, and it shot the dummy in pretty close to the groin every time, interesting concept… so if you’re smoking and drinking with a bullet in the fuse box… a story for another time.”


What the heck is this? Who the heck is this?

These are direct quotes from an ex-coworker. Intrigued? Want more quotes? So do I… but I have to rely on my other ex-coworkers to get them to me, and they’re kind of lazy. 😉

Want to know more about the man, the legend, this whimsical wizard of wayward words? Read all about it.


One thought on “Songs From the Beautiful Rebellion

  1. Pingback: Songs From the Beautiful Rebellion: The Interview « John DeStefano

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